Are events in your life a catalyst for change?
We all live through events, major and minor, that have a lasting effect on us. Often these happenings encourage people to make big or small changes to their lives. Sometimes it feels much safer to go back to exactly the place you were at before the event happened. Sometimes we need to find security in the familiar.
At age 18 I lived through three emotionally traumatic events in my life and it spurred me to go away. Yes, looking back I know I was indeed ‘running away’. I chose to live and work in Paris to ‘escape’. Going abroad alone in my late teens could have been disastrous and there certainly was some trepidation on my part, however this completely changed my life, in a good way thankfully.
Making big changes in your life is a brave step, regardless of the event that sparks it. Sometimes the event is so big we have no choice but to change, other times something very small and seemingly insignificant can be that catalyst for change that sets us on a new pathway in our lives.
So, have you used events in your life as a catalyst for change, or are you more comfortable leaving everything exactly as it was before the event?
Enjoy the journey.
More From mandyallen
Hi Mandy, Well, I would say that you are more comfortable leaving things as they are. The devil you know and all that. I was in a comfortable situation at an early age but bored. I changed by moving away and I haven’t been comfortable since and that was many years ago. Do I regret it? Not for an instant.
I have been to many places and seen many things and I am still battling away on a daily basis. It’s called living and I am glad of it. Life is meant to be a struggle and that is what gives it it’s flavour.
Like someone said, I forget who for the moment, “Enjoy the Journey.”
Regards, Brian.
Brian Ripley recently posted..Persistence and Perseverance
Hi Mandy…
I used to just stay in the emotional messes that all of us have survived…job losses, relationship breakups, family arguments that cut to the bone, garden variety bad choices that grew into monster mistakes all by themselves. I know that list will sound familiar to most of your readers, if not all.
I used to wallow in despair and blame myself for whatever went wrong in my life, but I soon realized that I wasn’t in control of the entire Universe. What a revelation!
I wanted to remove the load of disasters from my everyday baggage and set about looking for a new perspective. I really did believe, even many years ago, that we attract what we think or believe. So, I decided to believe something else and my life changed quickly & dramatically, in a very short time.
I was able to walk away from those black holes of sadness and anger and create a new environment for me to live in. Now, I have a thriving Internet business, a relationship that is way more than I ever expected to have, and some friends only slightly crazier than I am (as long as you don’t ask them).
I am somewhat embarrassed by the number of years that I carried around that heavy baggage of mine, even though I knew better. To be honest, I had to look at all of them and choose to remove them from my everyday thoughts and feelings. It took a while, some took several “whiles,” but I did it for the most part.
I used some forgiveness mantras very heavily until the pain I felt with my past messes evaporated and I no longer felt it. I still remember them, but the pain is gone and they have moved to just a memory without emotion. Very liberating.
You ask interesting questions, Mandy.
Pat
Hi Brian, thanks for visiting. I completely agree with your view about being more comfortable where we are, but it can indeed bring about boredom. I’m not too sure that life is supposed to be a struggle, but I do believe it is supposed to challenge us, but we can avoid challenges if we stay in our safety bubble. Good for you for taking that brave step away from boredom!
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Pat, thanks for visiting. Sometimes it is very hard to move on from our situations, even though they may be difficult. As Brian said, rather the devil you know. It’s good you were able to leave them behind and make a better existence for yourself.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Mandy,
It is amazing how lifes events can change things in your life. So many times I’ve changed my lifes plans because something happened to direct my life another way. So many paths to choose from.
A couple I remember are:
Before my devorce from my first wife, she was pushing me to leave the Army. So I did, and got a contractor job with the government. Then she did not like all the travel I was doing, so she pushed me to get a real government. So I did.
Then after we divorced, I had a chance to get a corporate job with ADC Corp. I impressed the President of the company, showing where his engineers screwed up a project for us. Imagine a dummy like me out engineering his senior engineers. He offered me a job paying me twice as much as I was making AND he would pay me while I went to get my degree, which he would pay for. The trouble was I was juswt divorced and had a son with shared custody. He wanted me to relocate to my home town and my son would be half a country away. I made the choice to stay here.
Now a lot of folks thought I was crazy, but by staying, I am now retired. Had I taken that job I would still have to work another 10 years.
Everything happens (events) for a purpose and you have to evaluate the choices that are offered to you. By doing the “right” thing by staying around for my son, I was rewarded with retirement.
Be careful with your choices when events happen to change the course of your life.
Jay
Jay Mueller recently posted..Product Review- WordPress Classroom
HiMandy .. thanks for the email .. I wouldn’t have known you’d posted a new one .. is the RSS feed up? Then it would come straight to my Reader.
Re change – I’ve always moved on .. difficult family life early on when you’re tied, then tried London living, then went off to see something of the world – got to Africa .. no further! Married & Divorced – then came back because otherwise I’d miss elderly here – now I’m stuck again .. because of my mother – visiting twice a day .. I really want to get up and fly: but I have to tell myself that this is the time to declutter, sort out and get life organised and up and running for the future – so I can just go .. when the time comes. So that’s what I’m doing ..
By the way – how is your mother and her move back? .. I do hope all went well .. not quite sorted here .. but found shelving pins, and the key to the trunk .. so now I can get on!
Gloomy down here this morning .. bye and thinking of you .. please put an RSS button up somewhere (unless I’m blind .. as well as senile – don’t think so for the latter?!) Cheers H
Hilary recently posted..Emoticons- Book Packaging- ebooks what was the future- is now the past
Mandy,
Good post! Life is a crazy roller coaster with many ups and downs. Things can be tough, but after big changes in my life.. I try not to dwell on it and keep walking forward with the best of my ability to the path that is best for me. Life goes on!
Hi Jay, thanks for visiting. Sounds like you definitely made the right choice. I was just saying to someone yesterday it is so difficult when you really want something and go all out to get and then it is not anything like you expected it to be. Our choices define who we are.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Hilary, thanks for visiting. There is a button in the address bar to subscribe to the RSS feed, but I don’t know that anyone has ever tried it out! I always email my subscribers to let them know a new post is here. How lovely to be able to move on when you need to. I think I am terribly bad at that and actually don’t adapt to change too well. In other ways I am extremely confident and get on with whatever I am faced with.
Re: mum’s return, life is different, much harder than I imagined but we’re getting on with it and she is so much better for being at home.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Justin, thanks for visiting. Very good attitude to have. I believe we should all try our best, and recognise the path will not always be smooth.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Mandy,
I think you were very brave to do that at such a young age, I wish I had done more when I was younger.
I know that you were kinda forced to do that due to personal circumstances.
But I feel as I have got older, I have found a new sense of bravery, if that’s the right word.
We only get one life, I am no longer afraid to live out of my comfort zone and have recently decided to just “go for it”.
I may fall flat on my face, but at least I won’t have the regret of never even trying.
Sally
Sally @ blog hopping queen recently posted..I’m Full Time Online Just Quit My Offline Job!
Hi Sally, thanks for visiting, and thanks for your kind comments. Great attitude, just go for it, girl! Well done for giving up the day job!
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
You always come up with good questions Mandy.
The best FORCED change I’ve had is when my wife left me, I wouldn’t have met Margaret otherwise, and I’ve never been happier. 
The best PLANNED change I’ve made, is after I was made redundant by Tjaerborg Holidays. I only strated working for them because I thought it was ‘safe’ to work for a big company, and get a regular income.
I’ve been self-employed ever since, and have never looked back. I’ve come close to sacking myself once or twice though.
John
John McNally recently posted..WHY was Clockwork Orange Banned in GB
PS.
Mandy, I notice you have arrows on links. If you want to get rid of them here’s how:
http://johnmcnally54.com/how-to-delete-annoying-arrows-on-blog-links/
John
John McNally recently posted..WHY was Clockwork Orange Banned in GB
I agree, John, Margaret is lovely, I have no doubt you are happy together. Good for you. Maybe we can meet half way for a meal when I get back from the states? And don’t sack yourself, there’d be no one to delegate tasks to!
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Thanks, John, I know they are something to do with a plug in, I got rid of them once before using your guide.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
A half-way meeting sounds great Mandy. Enjoy your USA holiday, and see you soon.
John
John McNally recently posted..WHY was Clockwork Orange Banned in GB
Thanks, John, I’m going to have a ball, we’re doing a tour! Will tell you all about when I get back.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hello Mandy,
I have sure had one of those life changing events recently. I have been at the same job for the last 15 years and was recently laid off. That was certainly a catalyst for change in my life and a shock to my system! I have used this event to attempt to change my career choice with mixed success so far. I completed a degree in Information technology in 2007 and so I have been trying to land a job in this new direction. Of course with the economy the way it is and unemployment at such a high rate I have remained unemployed so far…
Hopefully this will change soon. I have taken this opportunity to volunteer at a local hospital in the IT department which gives me some experience to go with my degree and I am also taking this opportunity to go back to school. I am pursuing a certificate in Medical IT at a local junior college which I am hoping will enhance my degree and give me a few more job opportunities in this field.
Of course I am also going back to the internet and working on some new projects as well as reviving the Masterclass training now that I have more time. I hope I will be able to get this going in a bigger way than I have done in the past. It is certainly an interesting journey and full of surprises.
As always you make some interesting posts and this one was no exception. Thanks for listening.
Gary R Turner
Gary R Turner recently posted..My First Computer
Hi Gary, nice to see you, thanks for visiting. Being laid off certainly is something that can kick your life into a different direction. I was in a similar position in the early 90′s and chose to go to University. I didn’t get the chance to go to college when I was younger, even though I wanted to. I hope it all goes well for you.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Mandy, leaving things the way they are is not good if you are looking to excel. Once you reach goals change is what you wanted in the first place. I believe without change life stays the same. Change or no change, the main thing is that you are happy.
Terry Conti
Terry Conti recently posted..The 100 Comment Challenge- what a ride! Lets keep the list Alive!
Hi Terry, thanks for visiting. Yes, happiness is very important. Most of my major changes have been triggered by an event rather than me changing my goals.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Mandy,
It is the life changing events that spur the greatest evolution don’t you think?
Facing the unknown can be a scary proposition but it can also be exhilarating to our psyche. Stepping out of our comfort zone is how we learn and grow…without it life would get pretty boring I think and our lives would get stagnate.
Kathy
Hi Mandy.
I used to think that changes that were forced on me were more difficult to deal with. But in a way, making big decisions for oneself… initiating the change… carries a heavier weight.
Yes, I have used events in my life as a catalyst for change. The first time I was laid off from a job due to a company merger I turned down a job at the new company. Took my severance and started my own business. Then I moved from Toronto to Vancouver and repeated the pattern, lol. After being let go from a job over 3.5 years ago, I’m still working from my home as a sole proprietor. It’s been a challenge, but I’m determined.
Davina Haisell recently posted..I Survived the 3-Day Novel Contest
Hi Kathy, thanks for visiting. Yes, I agree with you. Changes we initiate leave us mainly in control and sometimes it is indeed the unknown that spur greater growth.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Davina, thanks for visiting. I agree with you, I have not been a fan of change throughout my life and although forced changes are sometimes more difficult to deal with I have not initiated change myself often because of my dislike of it, therefore the forced changes have often been the only changes I have made. Sad but true. However I feel I am quite different now and I too am self employed and have been for some years now.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Changes in life is inevitable, it’s the only thing permanent in this world. So we must better live life as the way it is. Learning how to adapt on it will help, truly helps a lot. Be flexible enough on whatever situations that come along your way. We can make this by having a very wide understanding in everything we may experience.
Hi Abbie, thanks for visiting. Yes, you are right, there is no escaping change, but we can direct it if we choose to embrace it.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
You’ve got me thinking about change, Mandy. Some change I welcome open-armed, like moving to a new home or new town. While other change I resist, such as a change in how business is done online. I guess it all depends on my attitude.
Thanks for making me think about it.
Peggy
P.S. I can’t wait to see you on your US grand adventure!
Peggy Baron recently posted..All My Glasses Are Half Full… And I’m Drowning
Hi Peggy, thanks for visiting! Yes, I am excited about my month in the US and it will be great to meet up, I hear you have big plans for the visit! I can’t say I am overly happy about change most of the time, but I can get on with it if I set my mind to it.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Excellent and very insightful post. As for me, I believe that no one is excuse to this law of nature. In fact only change is constant in this world. But then we can live a happy life still for we have the chance to choose the life we want to be. We are the one makes our destiny.
Hi Thez, yes, you are right, we are totally in charge of our own destiny, and change certainly is a constant in life.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Mandy,
OMG I have a list of Mack Truck life changing events!! Some good, some not so good.
I wouldn’t change things. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for them, plus I know I am a better parent to my little one because of them.
The whole point about life is to learn and grow and then to teach and enjoy the journey and lessons a long the way.
Have an awesome time in the US.
Cheers
Jacinta
Jacinta Dean recently posted..Special Guest Post- Thu Nguyen – The 100 Blog Comments Gems
Hi Mandy,
I know this may sound strange. I have been doing a little blog hopping today and I am unsure if my comments are being received.
Can you let me know. I think they are going to spam.
Cheers
Jacinta
Jacinta Dean recently posted..Special Guest Post- Thu Nguyen – The 100 Blog Comments Gems
Hi Mandy
I can’t say I have had any major events that have required a change of direction other than the decision to leave paid employment at an early age.
I decided to become self employed at the age of 23 just before I was due to get married, despite my fiance’s misgivings. I have to say it was THE best decision I have ever made and have no regrets whatsoever.
My wife was able to stay at home while the children grew up and I think this is something missing from many children’s lives nowadays.
Another good thought provoking article of yours.
Regards
Bill
Hi Bill, thanks for visiting. What a great gift to give to your family. My mum was at home throughout our childhood and I also think it is very important for young people to have that.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Mandy:
You might not remember me, I am from 100 comment challenge. It really gave me the joy of newtworking, lots of visual experiences and of course business awareness. Today looking at the list I decided to connect myself. So here I am. Well Mandy your post makes me go back in my life and think about the big events and changes that came with those. Yes I do have events that changed the cycle of life completely. And I know it happens in everyones life generally. As we learn with events a lot. We grow up we act different and we perceive different and so we change.
A great topic to write about. Great insight on your part
Well let’s do it again.
Make it a great day for yourself
Fran Aslam
Fran Aslam recently posted..20 Effective Strategies To Blog Traffic For More Readers and Comments
Life is all lessons. If we are stubborn to change we will remain stagnant, and with such stagnancy comes deterioration. Unfortunately, most of us embrace change only when its too late.
Hi Mandy,
I use the events in my life as catalyst for change.. However, I am comfortable with change..and I tend to embrace new and different in small and large ways almost daily…
I used to think I’d prefer comfortable/stay where I was..to deal with an event..but then I learned that if I “skipped” the lesson by choosing comfortable, I eventually had another event with the same lesson..so I find it best to learn as I go and embrace what is presented to me..
Wow, what a thought provoking article. I would like to say I am one of those people who embraces change but being a Taurean, I find change very difficult!
Saying that when I reflect changes in my life have put me firmly on my spiritual path. When my mum passed to spirit at the age of 30, I was determined to find out if she was still around me and I did! Anyway, my partner Jim says that as a Gemini he will continue to push me to try new things and I can ground him occasionally. And the latest change – I have never had children but Jim has four and I am pleased to say his eldest will be coming to live with us this week. I am slightly worried but I have realised that it is not “if I am ready.” It is about someone needing help and stability, so I will step up to the plate. Wish me luck! Hope to see you soon. Love, Rosie Sparkle x x x
Hi Jacinta, I agree with you about not changing the events that have happened. I too would not be the person I am without them, and sometimes it allows us the opportunity to make the right choices. Without the challenges we would have no choices to make.
I will indeed enjoy my time in the US! Thanks for visiting.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Yes, Jacinta, you are right, they went to my spam box…now retrieved and glad to see you here!
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Fran, yes I do indeed remember you. Thanks for visiting again. I am always interested in the choices people make when faced with changes. As I said in the post, some people just return to everything that is familiar in order to feel ‘safe’, but we can use the event to put us on a different path if we are brave enough.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Walter, great to see you here. I am interested by your comment about embracing change only when it is too late. I think that change can never come too late, if our destiny is to make that change we will make it when we are ready. An interesting idea that has made me think, thank you for sharing.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Joy, an excellent point. I also believe that if we miss the ‘lesson’ we are presented with it again and again until we learn it. Thanks for sharing.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Rosie, I agree with you about finding change difficult. I am not sure if it a cancerian thing too, we certainly have a great way to protect ourselves. I am great with change once it’s happening, but thinking about it beforehand is murder!
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Mandy,
Certainly gets you thinking what might have been if I had made this decision or that decision etc
I had the opportunity of living and working in europe at a similar age but declined. Leaving the comfort of home at that age on my own just seemed too daunting. If I had, I might not have met my wife and had the 2 beautiful kids. Positives far outweigh the negatives
Our acceptance of change alters as we get older. When I was younger, I was as the song, que sera sera, very laid back (my dad actually said I was so laid back I was horizontal). Now I tend to be more resistant as life alters my perceptions.
As Brian Ripley said though, I wouldn’t change anything, what I have done or what I have.
Thanks for the post
Simon
Hi Simon, thanks for visiting. I agree, I too would not change anything. Another saying associated with it is never regret the things you have done, only the things you have not. Luckily I do take opportunities when they are presented to me so I have no reason to have regrets for not taking action.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Mandy,
Perhaps events are meant to change our lives. It seems that the events that I cause or at least help to cause myself or participate in willingly are the ones that tend to change my live much more likely than the ones that are imposed from the outside.
It’s true that we tend to resist change because
what we are used to is familiar and kind of comfortable even if it doesn’t necessarily work for us.
I think that it helps to evaluate the events on their own merit and also in light of their potential and determine whether the change in direction they have brought is worth maintaining.
If it is then any short term discomfort is worth going through.
Vance
Vance@Internet Marketing Event recently posted..Internet Marketing Event- Networking At Canada Marketing Summit
Interesting.
I have a similar story. I just graduated college and after 2 months at living at home with the parents, I decided to roll the dice and move 400 miles away to Los Angeles with nothing more than $500 and my cat. Things are turning out well. Definitely enjoying the journey.
Hi Vance, thanks for visiting. I have to say I’m not terribly good at evaluating, I tend just to go with my gut feeling and take a leap of faith. I have always been a risk taker, it scares others but I just go with the flow. It’s made life very interesting.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Carl, thanks for visiting. Good luck in LA. It’s on my list of places to visit next year, along with San Diego.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hey Mandy,
I guess we all go through traumas in life some more than others and I guess we deal with it according to who we are and what we are made of!
I personally have a dark side that switches on to keep away pain when I am hurt, by that I mean a part of me that can actually build an impenetrable wall against people who use and abuse my trust OR for sad events in my life!
For example I have been single now for three years, thats shows that due to what a certain person did to my sense of trust and loyallty I naturally refuse at the moment to actknowledge any interested parties in me at all I make myself busy with my online business!
You have touched on great universal subject here….Ed.
Ed recently posted..Awebextra Video Series By Paul Wilson Rob Bradley Inside AWeber Successful Email Marketing Listbuilding
Hi Ed, thanks for visiting. You have made a very interesting point here. Sadness is an event that brings on great changes in us at times. Don’t make your wall too unpenetrable, you may miss that special person who is trying to reach you.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Mandy, Excellent question! When an event or catalyst presents a challenge or an opportunity to choose a change of direction then I’m usually on board even though at times I’m old school stubborn to.
So many other thoughts come to mind when I ponder your question more thoroughly. The rotation of the earth around it’s own axis and around our sun is the mother of all events, though not traumatic, it’s astronomical at least. Certain on going events like our spinning rotating solar system and galaxy make my head spin to, participating in life, creating more life even as life seems to be changing and creating me. Be well, Steve D.
Steve Deerfield recently posted..Social Bookmarking For Internet Marketers
Hi Steve, thanks for visiting. I’m old school stubborn too! Interesting point about the planets, I sometimes feel like my head is spinning.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Mandy,
I understand exactly what you are saying – Im currently sat at my PC after waking at 4pm. Just 3 days ago I experienced one of those moments (not joking). I wrote a post about it on my blog and I wanted to let you know about it since your most recent post has resemblance.
Thanks for the post Mandy, it’s nice to know we are all similar deep down.
John B
John B recently posted..Correction- Hope and Forgiveness
Hi John, thanks for visiting. I’ll pop over and read your post now!
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
I recently had a major life changing event as well. I graduated from school in California and decided to move 400 miles away from friends and family, with nothing but $700 and my cat, Morpheus. Fortunately, I found an opportunity to work in construction to pay rent for a few weeks, and later got hired into my first real job position.
I envy those who decided to take even bigger chances…people who leave the U.S. who get to travel and see the world, and work in countries where they can’t even understand the language, let alone the huge societal differences.
Anyways, I hope to make enough money in the next year to be able to travel a little. Keep ‘em coming, thanks Mandy.
-Carlton
Hi Carlton, thanks for visiting. Good for you for chasing your dreams. I believe you will take those bigger chances you talk about, when the time is right for you.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Howdy Mandy,
Life has shown me the door a couple of times but thankfully, it was the entrance to a bathroom rather than an exit …
These circumstances make for a malodorous existence at times but the contrast in air quality when I eventually find my way out is refreshing.
Thanks for the thoughts, madam and have a grand day.
Barry
Barry from Saskatchewan recently posted..Easily Read Twenty Four Books a Year Using This Toilet Training Technique
I know you are back from holiday Mandy and I can’t wait to hear all about it. Any chance of a post to keep all us bloggers updated.
John
John McNally recently posted..Google Analytics and Web Traffic
A number of posts about the trip will be forthcoming, John! Just getting some photos sorted to illustrate them so keep looking! Thanks for visiting.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Thanks for visiting, Barry. There are so many paths we could take at any time, I’d go for the fresh air too.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
We are all products of our past. Each and every event shapes and moulds us into what we are today. As long as we learn from the chapters that lay in the history of our lives, then we grow stronger.
Andy@PowerBlog recently posted..The Truth About Article Marketing
Hi Andy, thanks for visiting. I cannot agree more, and we must learn from our past otherwise the same pattern continues over and over.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Mandy,
I personally love change and have moved several times in my life, it is amazing how your life takes on a whole new meaning just by moving to a different location.
It makes me wonder sometimes, what I would be doing now or how I would be living my life, if I had stayed in my home town.
Who knows, all I know is I enjoy life and I am enjoying my Journey, we are all constantly evolving and every action we take has an effect on our future. Exciting Stuff!
Regards
Rob
Hi Robert thanks for visiting. It’s good to hear you love change. Most people really don’t like it much at all although some are able to embrace it even if they don’t like it.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Mandy,
I noticed that you have been quiet lately and hope that everything is ok with you.
Have a great christmas and a happy new year.
Catch up after the holidays,
R&R Barry
Hi Barry, severe internet problems – now all sorted and I’ll be back into it straight after this weekend. Thanks for your concern. Hope you are ok too, Happy New Year!
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Mandy,
Thanks for visiting. What a thought provoking post. You know, I have personally found that it’s only when you do embark, consciously or unconsciously, upon a series of different journeys throughout your life that you are finally able to understand yourself better and what you want.
Who would you be without your story?
Kindest
Joanne
Joanne Thomson recently posted..4 Time Management Tips for the Home Based Business Owner
Exactly, Joanne. Our journeys can be so exciting too, can’t they. Thanks for visiting.
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy